Funemployment is the Key to Stopping ISIS

Forget about a jobs program for those disaffected single males aged 20 to 40 who have been magnetically drawn to the Middle East by the siren song of crazy clerics, and joined the caliphate. What we really need to defeat these down-on-their-luckers is a good PR campaign. When the Ad Council has wrapped up their latest PSA about the dangers posed by undercooked hamburgers, I hope they’ll direct their attentions eastward. A couple of voiceover actors, some glossy infographics and maybe a viral video or two should be enough to convince these depressed decapitators to put down their blades and pick up that hobby they’ve been neglecting. It’s time to introduce the Islamic State to Funemployment!

Funemployment was all the rage back in 2009. Those who lost their jobs at the onset of the Great Recession were living it up, making the most of their newfound free time. The LA Times described this phenomenon fun-nomenon thusly:

While millions of Americans struggle to find work as they face foreclosures and bankruptcy, others have found a silver lining in the economic meltdown. These happily jobless tend to be single and in their 20s and 30s. Some were laid off. Some quit voluntarily, lured by generous buyouts.

“I feel like I’ve been given a gift of time and clarity,” said Aubrey Howell, 29, of Franklin, Tenn., who was laid off from her job as a tea shop manager in April. After sleeping in late and visiting family in Florida, she recently mused on Twitter: “Unemployment or funemployment?”

Never heard of funemployment? Here’s Urban Dictionary’s definition: “The condition of a person who takes advantage of being out of a job to have the time of their life. I spent all day Tuesday at the pool; funemployment rocks!”

Funemployment rocks more than stoning a woman, a homosexual, or a Jew! Feel free to steal that for your tagline Ad Council. You’re welcome.

These poor forgotten fire-starters just need to recognize that they have been given the opportunity of a lifetime here. All they have to do to seize their prize is file for unemployment. Per the description given by Adbul Muhid in Graeme Wood’s piece at The Atlantic, those benefits should exist as part of the divinely mandated social safety net:

When we sat down, he was eager to discuss welfare. The Islamic State may have medieval-style punishments for moral crimes (lashes for boozing or fornication, stoning for adultery), but its social-welfare program is, at least in some aspects, progressive to a degree that would please an MSNBC pundit. Health care, he said, is free. (“Isn’t it free in Britain, too?,” I asked. “Not really,” he said. “Some procedures aren’t covered, such as vision.”) This provision of social welfare was not, he said, a policy choice of the Islamic State, but a policy obligation inherent in God’s law.

They must not know that the answer to their meteorite-directed prayers lies in filling out a few forms. If killing them won’t stop them, then it is absolutely essential that someone steps up and educates the murderous masses about the wonders of Funemployment. Once they know that they have financial freedom to chase their dreams, they will drop the fixed-blades, strap on some rollerblades, and hit the open road.

Obama Eats Tiger Meat

If you haven’t heard, Obama ate a dog. Yes it’s true and he admitted as much in his first autobiography “Dreams From My Father”. Obama even made fun of his youthful dog-eating adventure at the White House Correspondents Dinner. By laughing at himself, he effectively minimized the continued impact of Dog-gATE.

But not so fast kids, dog isn’t the only unusual meat that Obama ingested during his time in Jakarta, Indonesia. He also wrote about eating snake, crickets and he discussed his stepfather Lolo’s promise to bring home tiger meat for him to sample.

It would seem, according to President Obama’s own autobiography, that Lolo made good on that promise, and he partook in the eating of Tiger meat.   The following can be found on page 138 of “Dreams From My Father”.


There used to be nine subspecies of tiger.  Three of these subspecies have become extinct over the last one hundred years.  Of the subspecies only three are native to Indonesia; the Bali tiger which became extinct in the 1930’s, the Javan tiger which became extinct in the 1980’s and the Sumatran tiger.  The World Wildlife Foundation estimates there are fewer than 400 wild Sumatran tigers alive today.

Even if the subspecies of tiger that Obama ate as a child is not one native to Indonesia, where he was living at the time, all tiger species are endangered.   SaveTigersNow.org claims there may be as few as 3,200 left today.

Will PETA summarily dismisses this like they did with the revelation that Obama ate dog meat?  Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

Silver Spoons Episode 101: Guess Who Had a Zoo

I never had any interest in reading either of Obama’s memoirs, but that changed when I read Jim Treacher’s Daily Caller piece, “Obama Bites Dog“.

Turns out none of the left-wing media sycophants ever bothered to read Obama’s book, “Dreams From My Father”, or surely they would have engaged in preemptive damage control.

Unwilling to pay for a copy of Obama’s book, since he’s already stolen enough money from me via taxation, I checked my library’s overdrive offerings.  Low and behold, both e-book copies of ‘Dreams’ were available, click to download, and I was off!

I had rather low expectations of the writing abilities of our “smartest president evah” considering his propensity to stumble over common words (see: corpsman and un-intellected)  I was pleasantly surprised to find the prose are quite beautiful.  It’s a quick read, and I thought about holding off on posting my findings until I had completed the book, but the stuff I’ve found so far is just too good to hold back.

Only 44 pages into ‘Dreams’, I came upon this:

So Obama not only had a pet ape named Tata, he had his own zoo! I’ll eat my flip-flop if you can find me one American kid who wouldn’t want to have their own zoo.  Quick, somebody ask born-with-silver-spoon-in-mouth Mitt Romney if he ever had his own zoo!

Silver Spoons Starring the Obamas

Maybe Obama wasn’t born with a silver spoon in his mouth, but he has spent the last three years luxuriating on our dime.

For the sake of fairness I decided to re-cut the opening credits of the 80’s sitcom ‘Silver Spoons’, and make the Obamas the stars.

Smartest President Ever: The “UN-INTELLECTED” Edition

President Obama, aka the ‘smartest’ president ever, made yet another word-blunder during today’s joint press conference with Prime Minister Harper and Presidente Calderon. I am going to go out on a limb here and bet that none of the nightly news programs will report on the gaffe.
I’m happy to do their job for them, go to :47 on this clip and you will hear President Obama say, “an UN-INTELLECTED group of people”. Yes that’s right, our president, the ‘smartest’ president ever said ‘UN-INTELLECTED’. Also earlier on in the clip, if you care to watch the whole thing, smartypants can be heard demonstrating a grasp of the English language befitting a New York Time’s best selling author with this little gem, “A economic”. Behold the brilliance!

Are You Going to Believe Them or Your Lying Eyes?

You've Probably Seen This Picture

But You Probably Haven't Seen This Picture

Almost a month has passed since Congressional Democrats staged what one CBS reporter called, “a pretend hearing while Congress is not in session” so that Ms. Sandra Fluke, a third year Georgetown Law student might give her ‘testimony’. According to most media reports, Ms. Fluke was not permitted to testify before the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee during its hearing on the birth control mandate, by Chairman Rep Darrell Issa (R-CA) because she is a woman.

This could not be further from the truth. The actual reason that Rep Issa did not allow Ms. Fluke to testify has been entirely overlooked because it does not fit well with the Democrat’s assertion that there is war going on, ‘The Republican war on women”. In order to further is myth, the focus was shifted to the optics, and away from the facts.

The panel of experts, invited by the Republicans on the committee, were all men, oh the horror! Would you look at that?! Those nasty, women-hating Republicans held a hearing on birth control and would not allow a single woman to voice her opinion!

A Google search of “Issa contraception hearing” turns up page after page of headlines like ABC news’ “Rep Darrell Issa Bars Minority Witness, a Woman, on Contraception”.

But that’s not the whole story. Rep. Issa explained to in a Op-Ed published by Roll Call :

“The House Oversight and Government Reform Committee recently convened the first Congressional hearing on the administration’s mandate that religious employers pay for abortion-inducing drugs, contraceptives and sterilization procedures in their employee health care plans, despite the fact that some of these items and services violate the employers’ core religious teachings.
The committee heard from a Catholic, a Lutheran, a Baptist, a rabbi and university administrators united in their opposition to the administration’s mandate. These men and women spoke eloquently about their concerns, not because they share the same views about contraception or even abortion (they do not) but because they value their religious freedom, guaranteed by the First Amendment of the Constitution.’

In the same Op-Ed, Rep. Issa also addressed the Democrat’s claim that no women were allowed to testify:

“As Democrats asked, “Where are the women?” 20 feet from them, Dr. Allison Garrett from Oklahoma Christian University and Dr. Laura Champion from Calvin College would explain their belief that this was an issue of religious freedom, not contraception.”

It would seem that there really wasn’t a Republican ban on women at the hearing. But why wasn’t Ms. Fluke permitted to testify? A Washington Examiner article by Byron York offers this from a “Republican committee source”:

“After days of asking for a witness, they waited until the last minute, the afternoon before the hearing. They asked us to invite Rev. Barry Lynn [head of Americans United for Separation of Church and State] and Ms. Fluke. We said we’ll invite one, per standard procedure. We formally invited Rev. Lynn, and the Democrats, at 4:30 pm, changed their mind and said they wanted Fluke. We said too late. They told Rev. Lynn not to show up the next day.”

So why not allow Ms. Fluke to testify in Rev. Lynn’s stead? The York continues:

As for Fluke, Issa said Republicans had never heard of the Democrats’ last-minute choice. “I asked our staff what is her background, what has she done,” Issa said at the hearing. “They did the usual that we do when we’re not provided the three days and the forms to go with it. They did a Google search. They looked and found that she was, in fact, and is a college student who appears to have become energized over this issue and participated in approximately a 45-minute press conference…I cannot and will not arbitrarily take a majority or minority witness if they do not have the appropriate credentials, both for a hearing at the full committee of the U.S. House of Representatives and if we cannot vet them in a timely fashion.” (Fluke is in fact a 30 year-old law student with an extensive history of activism in leftist causes.)

There is a reason that this side of the story has been grossly under-reported. The Democrat Party and those members of the media who repeat their talking points rather than reporting factually based news, recognize that the President’s approval rating is on the decline. They have gone into full-on survival mode. They understand that their continued grasp on power necessitates the perpetuation of the myth that there is a ‘Republican war on women’.

Even though the ‘Republican war on women’ never actually began, I am declaring officially over as of this very moment.

If you’re interested in watching the second panel of experts that appeared before the Committee, the panel which included female experts Dr. Allison Garrett and Dr. Laura Champion, here it is

The Party of Hate

angry-obamaThis past summer, Democrat politicians and their talking-point armed pundits, delighted in dubbing the GOP “The Party of NO”.  Had they succeeded in passing universal health care they most certainly would have broken their arms patting themselves on the back for that one, and oh how clever they were!  What a zinger! “The Party of NO”, boy does that sting!  While I’m still smarting, I think I’ll heed our dear leader’s advice and ‘punch back twice as hard’;

Dear Democrat Party, I dub thee “The Party of Hate”.

angry-biden

What’s that you’re shouting?

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“NO”!

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Excuse me that’s our mantra remember?  I will extend to you the courtesy of explaining why I chose this moniker for you as surely you’re having trouble comprehending my word choice.  It’s quite simple you see, The Democrat Party perpetually preaches hatred.  The party demonizes big business from oil to insurance.  It claims we must abhor the rich, profits and SUVs and it fervently attacks individuals, Bush, Rove, Thomas, Scalia, Palin, Bachmann, Limbaugh, Levin, Hannity, Rumsfeld and let’s not forget the man that has ‘blood that drips from his teeth’, the devil himself, Dick Cheney.

This tangled mass of hatred was born from one simple seed, the hatred of free market capitalism.  It is a system in which those who trade only in the monetarily worthless commodity that is emotion can not thrive let alone survive.  Since proper function within the boundaries of this system is a practical impossibility for these hate peddlers, they persistently strive for it’s destruction.  Although hate has no value, it can be an extremely powerful weapon when wielded by reckless hands.  But have no fear my fellow “Party of No” friends, we can disarm them by simply saying “no” to what they’re selling.

Dancing with the Stars and Stripes

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Like a true lady, America has been generous with her dance card.  She has allowed 43 different men to escort her onto the floor, one of them on two separate occasions.  Each man has been strikingly different from the next.  They have varied in age, religion, race, ethnicity, education, social status and philosophy.
Some have guided her with skill and grace.  Twirling her elegantly in time with the music, encouraging her proudly to display the breadth of her beauty.  They have allowed her to absorb the spotlight while following her lead.
Others have not been such selfless partners. There are those who have stepped on her toes because they’ve chosen to dance to a different beat than the one she is hearing.   A few have even spiked her punch and attempted to convince her to relinquish her values in exchange for theirs.
She never abandons any of these gentlemen before the music has stopped.   She always makes good on the contract of her dance card.  At times she’s basked in the warmth of the spotlight.  But she has also known the frigid depths of the shadow cast by a partner’s ego.  All the while she has kept her head held high and her principles close.  She has remained dignified, humble and open to dancing with whomever she is paired.
She currently finds herself in the arms of a man who wishes to guide her across the floor in a manner with which she is completely unfamiliar.  To her this dance is completely foreign and seems to be leading in an uncharted direction.  She is finding it increasingly more difficult to will her feet to comply with these new steps.  The result is two dancers spinning quite clumsily and entirely haphazardly across the floor.
America is tripping over the feet of a man who wants her to follow his lead, to conform to his chosen rhythm.  He cares little about the proper execution of the predetermined choreography; he has brought his own drummer.
There are some who are in awe of the brazen manner of America’s latest dance partner.  His approach is new and different.  His arrogant steps are sloppy and have fallen out of time with the music., but they happily overlook the quality of his performance, because they love his style.
Other audience members are staring in wide-eyed disbelief as America, their consummate favorite and reigning champion is being made to look like an amateur.  They pray that she can last the length of this song.  Can she maintain her dignity when she is being made to look like such a fool?  Can she recover after so many missteps?  Will she live to dance another day?
If she holds true to what she knows to be right, she can regain control of the pace.  She can finish strong and smiling and will retain her standing in the world.  But if she chooses to acquiesce to her partner’s will, her bright star will be extinguished forever.
The outcome will be decided by a two-judge panel presided over by Time and History.  These two may have the final say as to her fate, but their decision is highly susceptible to public opinion.  Now is not a time for shyness, applaud if you like the show you’re watching or boo if you’re unimpressed, believe me the judges are all ears.

Cap and Trade? More like Slap and Rape

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“That’s right I said it!” ~ Mark Levin

You may be thinking, wow that’s some harsh language you’ve chosen and that it may be, but it is a far superior explanation of what the so-called Cap and Trade legislation really does.  The choice of such innocuous language, Cap-and-Trade, is in no way accidental.  It is an integral part of disguising the dangerous repercussions which will certainly ensue if this agenda is adopted by the United States.

I refuse to allow this manipulation of language to mask the reality of the situation which is this; Cap and Trade amounts to slapping a fine on harmless carbon emissions, raping industries of their profits and it will lead to the eventual destruction of all industrial nations.

This agenda which the Obama Administration supports, is being pushed by the ‘green’ environmental movement and is tantamount to a toxin which will infect and kill American industry at the same time placing a heavy burden upon all American taxpayers and consumers.  When taxes are levied against businesses the costs of those taxes are inevitably passed on to the consumer.  The price of goods and services will increase to compensate for the revenues lost due to the taxation.  I implore you, please do not be lulled into complacency by President Obama’s empty promise of tax cuts for “95% of working Americans”.  The Commander in Chief himself has admitted, ever so quietly that energy bills will necessarily skyrocket for everyone should this legislation be enacted.

Now, I’d like to address the alleged consensus of Global Warming/Climate Change.  Regardless of what ideologues like Al Gore would like you to believe, THERE IS NO CONSENSUS ON GLOBAL WARMING SCIENCE!  Every year an increasing number of scientists are challenging the findings of the IPCC (The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change).  There is a petition being circulated with the signatures of over 31,000 scientists to date, which urges the United States government to reject the Kyoto Agreement.  It also points out that there is no convincing evidence that the human release of carbon dioxide, methane or other greenhouse gases are or will cause a disruption of Earth’s climate.  For reasons unknown these factual assertions of these scientists continue to go unreported while the alarmists environmentalists are heralded and never questioned regarding the merits of their garbage science.

For over two decades environmentalists have been pushing their agenda.  They brazenly wield the sword of fear to accomplish their goals.  They insight undue panic with their outlandish claims and are never held to account when their junk science falls apart.  Case in point:  In the fourth grade (1987) I was taught that a hole had appeared in the ozone layer.  This hole was a result of Chlorofluorocarbons or CFCs.  These evil little molecules were being released into the atmosphere via aerosols.  I remember pleading with my grandmother to discontinue her use of Aquanet hairspray because it was destroying our planet.  As a nine-year-old the environmentalists had me convinced that humans, although infinitesimally small in comparison to the earth, had the ability to influence and manipulate its atmosphere.

Environmentalists effectively lobbied for the banning of CFC’s.  The ban came into effect with the signing of the Copenhagen Protocol of 1992.  Now I ask you to think about the last time you heard mention of the hole in the ozone.  My guess is it’s been at least a decade, and why is that?  Has the hole closed up because those vicious CFCs are no longer invading the atmosphere?  Nope, the hole is still there although the nomenclature has been changed.  It is no longer called a hole but rather according to NASA,  it is a ‘region of exceptionally depleted ozone in the stratosphere.’

So if the hole or ‘exceptionally depleted ozone in the stratosphere’ still exists why aren’t the environmentalists talking about it?  I can only assume that it has stopped being profitable for them.  The research grants have dried up, and even though the hole or whatever you choose to call it, persists to this day it is no longer a concern of theirs.  Now as a twenty nine-year-old I stand completely convinced that they have no idea what they are talking about.  I simply refuse to allow them to sucker me into believing their science or their altruistically cloaked motives.  They have moved on to the much more profitable agenda of Global Warming/Climate Change (hundreds of billions are spent on Global warming research grants each year).

**UPDATE Since 2009, when this piece was originally published, NASA has added a page to its site OZONE HOLE WATCH it has all kinds of nifty data that tracks the size of the hole that still remains in the ozone today.  I especially enjoyed this graph which clearly shows the size of the hole has remained relatively the same for the last thirty years. **

Their target this time is CO2 which they claim is a dangerous green house gas chiefly responsible for Global Warming.  They blatantly ignore the inescapable fact that human beings and animals exhale CO2 and plants in essence inhale CO2.  They also choose to overlook the fact that huge amounts of CO2 are produced by the Earth’s oceans and volcanoes.

According to the alarmist environmentalists actions need to be taken immediately to curb the 2% of greenhouse gases created by human beings.  According to their data this 2% comes from coal burning powerplants, cars, airplanes and buildings.  They have chosen to keep relatively quiet about the 18% of greenhouse gases created by livestock flatulence.  This was brought to light recently however when cow flatulence tax legislation was proposed in both Ireland and Denmark (€13 per cow in Ireland and €80 in Denmark). 

**UPDATE The link to that the story about taxing flatulence, originally published in The Times UK, is no longer working.  I could not find another credible source to link to, but what I did find is an article published in 2010 about the EPA’s desire to tax US livestock owners.**

The reason for their silence in this regard is unmistakably obvious, no one in their right mind would ever believe that cow farts should be treated as a pollutant no matter how noxious they may be.

The environmentalists who are trying to slap a tax on cow farts are the same ones screaming that Cap and Trade legislation must be passed!  These people are deaf, dumb and blind when it comes to true scientific research about Global Warming/Climate Change.  The Earth has always gone through cooling periods and warming periods and will continue to do so as long as it exists.  They seem to at least recognize this to the extent that they have changed their language once again, Global Warming is now slowly morphing into Climate Change.  Calling it Global Warming only made sense when temperatures were rising, but since 2003 global temperatures have been declining.  Instead of admitting their lack of indisputable scientific evidence, they simply change the name to something that can never be called into question; Climate Change, which encompasses all possible temperature shifts.

This language is simply preposterous.  Climate or temperature if you prefer, is constantly changing, it did so before the first human graced the face of the Earth and will continue to do so until the Earth ceases to exists.  Yes it’s true, the Earth does have a finite life-span, but we humans will have nothing to do with its demise.  You see the Sun’s gravitational force is ever so slowly pulling all of the planets toward it.  The closer the Earth’s orbit gets to the sun, the hotter the Earth will become and eventually the Earth will be swallowed up by the sun.  There is nothing that can stop this from happening.

We can not allow the propaganda of the radical environmental movement to corrupt the logic and facts of the situation.  We must pick apart their phony claim that CO2 emissions must be taxed because they are destroying our planet.  We must point out that if CO2 is as detrimental as the environmentalists would like us to believe, then they would be calling for an outright ban on CO2 emissions.  They would not seek monetary compensation as an acceptable trade-off for that which they deem poison being released into the atmosphere.  Their goal in reality has nothing to do with the environment but everything to do with the halting of human progress.

They wish to kill all industry and advancement.  Their ideal world is one with no livestock, no cars, no buildings and no factories.  They believe the caveman to be more in tune with the Earth and therefore superior to the modern industrialist.  They have set out to force modern man back into the caves, and Cap-and-Trade shall be their greatest victory in this battle.  A victory we must never allow them to achieve.