Funemployment is the Key to Stopping ISIS

Forget about a jobs program for those disaffected single males aged 20 to 40 who have been magnetically drawn to the Middle East by the siren song of crazy clerics, and joined the caliphate. What we really need to defeat these down-on-their-luckers is a good PR campaign. When the Ad Council has wrapped up their latest PSA about the dangers posed by undercooked hamburgers, I hope they’ll direct their attentions eastward. A couple of voiceover actors, some glossy infographics and maybe a viral video or two should be enough to convince these depressed decapitators to put down their blades and pick up that hobby they’ve been neglecting. It’s time to introduce the Islamic State to Funemployment!

Funemployment was all the rage back in 2009. Those who lost their jobs at the onset of the Great Recession were living it up, making the most of their newfound free time. The LA Times described this phenomenon fun-nomenon thusly:

While millions of Americans struggle to find work as they face foreclosures and bankruptcy, others have found a silver lining in the economic meltdown. These happily jobless tend to be single and in their 20s and 30s. Some were laid off. Some quit voluntarily, lured by generous buyouts.

“I feel like I’ve been given a gift of time and clarity,” said Aubrey Howell, 29, of Franklin, Tenn., who was laid off from her job as a tea shop manager in April. After sleeping in late and visiting family in Florida, she recently mused on Twitter: “Unemployment or funemployment?”

Never heard of funemployment? Here’s Urban Dictionary’s definition: “The condition of a person who takes advantage of being out of a job to have the time of their life. I spent all day Tuesday at the pool; funemployment rocks!”

Funemployment rocks more than stoning a woman, a homosexual, or a Jew! Feel free to steal that for your tagline Ad Council. You’re welcome.

These poor forgotten fire-starters just need to recognize that they have been given the opportunity of a lifetime here. All they have to do to seize their prize is file for unemployment. Per the description given by Adbul Muhid in Graeme Wood’s piece at The Atlantic, those benefits should exist as part of the divinely mandated social safety net:

When we sat down, he was eager to discuss welfare. The Islamic State may have medieval-style punishments for moral crimes (lashes for boozing or fornication, stoning for adultery), but its social-welfare program is, at least in some aspects, progressive to a degree that would please an MSNBC pundit. Health care, he said, is free. (“Isn’t it free in Britain, too?,” I asked. “Not really,” he said. “Some procedures aren’t covered, such as vision.”) This provision of social welfare was not, he said, a policy choice of the Islamic State, but a policy obligation inherent in God’s law.

They must not know that the answer to their meteorite-directed prayers lies in filling out a few forms. If killing them won’t stop them, then it is absolutely essential that someone steps up and educates the murderous masses about the wonders of Funemployment. Once they know that they have financial freedom to chase their dreams, they will drop the fixed-blades, strap on some rollerblades, and hit the open road.

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Obama Eats Tiger Meat

If you haven’t heard, Obama ate a dog. Yes it’s true and he admitted as much in his first autobiography “Dreams From My Father”. Obama even made fun of his youthful dog-eating adventure at the White House Correspondents Dinner. By laughing at himself, he effectively minimized the continued impact of Dog-gATE.

But not so fast kids, dog isn’t the only unusual meat that Obama ingested during his time in Jakarta, Indonesia. He also wrote about eating snake, crickets and he discussed his stepfather Lolo’s promise to bring home tiger meat for him to sample.

It would seem, according to President Obama’s own autobiography, that Lolo made good on that promise, and he partook in the eating of Tiger meat.   The following can be found on page 138 of “Dreams From My Father”.


There used to be nine subspecies of tiger.  Three of these subspecies have become extinct over the last one hundred years.  Of the subspecies only three are native to Indonesia; the Bali tiger which became extinct in the 1930’s, the Javan tiger which became extinct in the 1980’s and the Sumatran tiger.  The World Wildlife Foundation estimates there are fewer than 400 wild Sumatran tigers alive today.

Even if the subspecies of tiger that Obama ate as a child is not one native to Indonesia, where he was living at the time, all tiger species are endangered.   SaveTigersNow.org claims there may be as few as 3,200 left today.

Will PETA summarily dismisses this like they did with the revelation that Obama ate dog meat?  Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

Silver Spoons Episode 101: Guess Who Had a Zoo

I never had any interest in reading either of Obama’s memoirs, but that changed when I read Jim Treacher’s Daily Caller piece, “Obama Bites Dog“.

Turns out none of the left-wing media sycophants ever bothered to read Obama’s book, “Dreams From My Father”, or surely they would have engaged in preemptive damage control.

Unwilling to pay for a copy of Obama’s book, since he’s already stolen enough money from me via taxation, I checked my library’s overdrive offerings.  Low and behold, both e-book copies of ‘Dreams’ were available, click to download, and I was off!

I had rather low expectations of the writing abilities of our “smartest president evah” considering his propensity to stumble over common words (see: corpsman and un-intellected)  I was pleasantly surprised to find the prose are quite beautiful.  It’s a quick read, and I thought about holding off on posting my findings until I had completed the book, but the stuff I’ve found so far is just too good to hold back.

Only 44 pages into ‘Dreams’, I came upon this:

So Obama not only had a pet ape named Tata, he had his own zoo! I’ll eat my flip-flop if you can find me one American kid who wouldn’t want to have their own zoo.  Quick, somebody ask born-with-silver-spoon-in-mouth Mitt Romney if he ever had his own zoo!

Silver Spoons Starring the Obamas

Maybe Obama wasn’t born with a silver spoon in his mouth, but he has spent the last three years luxuriating on our dime.

For the sake of fairness I decided to re-cut the opening credits of the 80’s sitcom ‘Silver Spoons’, and make the Obamas the stars.

Smartest President Ever: The “UN-INTELLECTED” Edition

President Obama, aka the ‘smartest’ president ever, made yet another word-blunder during today’s joint press conference with Prime Minister Harper and Presidente Calderon. I am going to go out on a limb here and bet that none of the nightly news programs will report on the gaffe.
I’m happy to do their job for them, go to :47 on this clip and you will hear President Obama say, “an UN-INTELLECTED group of people”. Yes that’s right, our president, the ‘smartest’ president ever said ‘UN-INTELLECTED’. Also earlier on in the clip, if you care to watch the whole thing, smartypants can be heard demonstrating a grasp of the English language befitting a New York Time’s best selling author with this little gem, “A economic”. Behold the brilliance!

Are You Going to Believe Them or Your Lying Eyes?

You've Probably Seen This Picture

But You Probably Haven't Seen This Picture

Almost a month has passed since Congressional Democrats staged what one CBS reporter called, “a pretend hearing while Congress is not in session” so that Ms. Sandra Fluke, a third year Georgetown Law student might give her ‘testimony’. According to most media reports, Ms. Fluke was not permitted to testify before the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee during its hearing on the birth control mandate, by Chairman Rep Darrell Issa (R-CA) because she is a woman.

This could not be further from the truth. The actual reason that Rep Issa did not allow Ms. Fluke to testify has been entirely overlooked because it does not fit well with the Democrat’s assertion that there is war going on, ‘The Republican war on women”. In order to further is myth, the focus was shifted to the optics, and away from the facts.

The panel of experts, invited by the Republicans on the committee, were all men, oh the horror! Would you look at that?! Those nasty, women-hating Republicans held a hearing on birth control and would not allow a single woman to voice her opinion!

A Google search of “Issa contraception hearing” turns up page after page of headlines like ABC news’ “Rep Darrell Issa Bars Minority Witness, a Woman, on Contraception”.

But that’s not the whole story. Rep. Issa explained to in a Op-Ed published by Roll Call :

“The House Oversight and Government Reform Committee recently convened the first Congressional hearing on the administration’s mandate that religious employers pay for abortion-inducing drugs, contraceptives and sterilization procedures in their employee health care plans, despite the fact that some of these items and services violate the employers’ core religious teachings.
The committee heard from a Catholic, a Lutheran, a Baptist, a rabbi and university administrators united in their opposition to the administration’s mandate. These men and women spoke eloquently about their concerns, not because they share the same views about contraception or even abortion (they do not) but because they value their religious freedom, guaranteed by the First Amendment of the Constitution.’

In the same Op-Ed, Rep. Issa also addressed the Democrat’s claim that no women were allowed to testify:

“As Democrats asked, “Where are the women?” 20 feet from them, Dr. Allison Garrett from Oklahoma Christian University and Dr. Laura Champion from Calvin College would explain their belief that this was an issue of religious freedom, not contraception.”

It would seem that there really wasn’t a Republican ban on women at the hearing. But why wasn’t Ms. Fluke permitted to testify? A Washington Examiner article by Byron York offers this from a “Republican committee source”:

“After days of asking for a witness, they waited until the last minute, the afternoon before the hearing. They asked us to invite Rev. Barry Lynn [head of Americans United for Separation of Church and State] and Ms. Fluke. We said we’ll invite one, per standard procedure. We formally invited Rev. Lynn, and the Democrats, at 4:30 pm, changed their mind and said they wanted Fluke. We said too late. They told Rev. Lynn not to show up the next day.”

So why not allow Ms. Fluke to testify in Rev. Lynn’s stead? The York continues:

As for Fluke, Issa said Republicans had never heard of the Democrats’ last-minute choice. “I asked our staff what is her background, what has she done,” Issa said at the hearing. “They did the usual that we do when we’re not provided the three days and the forms to go with it. They did a Google search. They looked and found that she was, in fact, and is a college student who appears to have become energized over this issue and participated in approximately a 45-minute press conference…I cannot and will not arbitrarily take a majority or minority witness if they do not have the appropriate credentials, both for a hearing at the full committee of the U.S. House of Representatives and if we cannot vet them in a timely fashion.” (Fluke is in fact a 30 year-old law student with an extensive history of activism in leftist causes.)

There is a reason that this side of the story has been grossly under-reported. The Democrat Party and those members of the media who repeat their talking points rather than reporting factually based news, recognize that the President’s approval rating is on the decline. They have gone into full-on survival mode. They understand that their continued grasp on power necessitates the perpetuation of the myth that there is a ‘Republican war on women’.

Even though the ‘Republican war on women’ never actually began, I am declaring officially over as of this very moment.

If you’re interested in watching the second panel of experts that appeared before the Committee, the panel which included female experts Dr. Allison Garrett and Dr. Laura Champion, here it is

The Party of Hate

angry-obamaThis past summer, Democrat politicians and their talking-point armed pundits, delighted in dubbing the GOP “The Party of NO”.  Had they succeeded in passing universal health care they most certainly would have broken their arms patting themselves on the back for that one, and oh how clever they were!  What a zinger! “The Party of NO”, boy does that sting!  While I’m still smarting, I think I’ll heed our dear leader’s advice and ‘punch back twice as hard’;

Dear Democrat Party, I dub thee “The Party of Hate”.

angry-biden

What’s that you’re shouting?

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“NO”!

rep-nancy-pelosi

Excuse me that’s our mantra remember?  I will extend to you the courtesy of explaining why I chose this moniker for you as surely you’re having trouble comprehending my word choice.  It’s quite simple you see, The Democrat Party perpetually preaches hatred.  The party demonizes big business from oil to insurance.  It claims we must abhor the rich, profits and SUVs and it fervently attacks individuals, Bush, Rove, Thomas, Scalia, Palin, Bachmann, Limbaugh, Levin, Hannity, Rumsfeld and let’s not forget the man that has ‘blood that drips from his teeth’, the devil himself, Dick Cheney.

This tangled mass of hatred was born from one simple seed, the hatred of free market capitalism.  It is a system in which those who trade only in the monetarily worthless commodity that is emotion can not thrive let alone survive.  Since proper function within the boundaries of this system is a practical impossibility for these hate peddlers, they persistently strive for it’s destruction.  Although hate has no value, it can be an extremely powerful weapon when wielded by reckless hands.  But have no fear my fellow “Party of No” friends, we can disarm them by simply saying “no” to what they’re selling.