I’m Changing My Name to Science

mrwizard-1

Under Title II of the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009, subheading Department of Justice, I found this amazing expenditure of money that is bound to stimulate; $400,000,000 for ‘Science’.  What the hell does that mean, ‘science’ and what kind of ‘science’ is the Department of Justice pursuing?  I have half a mind to haul my cookies down to Washington, walk onto the floor of the Senate,  introduce myself as ‘Science’ and demand they hand over a check for $400,000,000.  On a scale of ingenious to insane, I give this an inane.

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People Are Going Chimp $h!t Over a Cartoon

chimp cartoon

People have lost their minds over this cartoon published by the New York Post because it features a monkey.  Well technically,  it’s not a monkey.  It’s actually a fifteen year old chimpanzee named Travis formerly of Connecticut.   Travis had a bad day earlier this week and despite the Xanax he was fed, he snapped and removed the hands and face of a nice neighbor lady that only wanted to help him.  The police arrived and put an end to Travis.  The cartoon simply depicts this stranger than fiction tragedy.

The comment being made by the police officer, ‘They’ll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill” refers to congress, the people who actually wrote the stimulus bill.  I do not believe the chimp is meant to be representative of President Obama nor do I believe that was the intention of the New York Post or the cartoonist, Sean Delonas.

art-george-bush-and-chimpsBut what if shock shock horror horror, Delonas did intend the chimp to be representative of the president?  Is the use of a simian automatically racist?  The same characterization was made of President Bush hundreds of times with no racial connotation, they were merely calling him a moron.

Al Sharpton who lives for this crap, didn’t think the chimp was meant to symbolize the idiocy of our congress.  To him it was obviously representative of Obama.  He and 200 extremely offended others took to the streets and protested outside of the Post’s New York offices.  I hope that those protesters were unemployed.  If those people were ditching work over a drawing they deserve to lose their jobs especially in this economy.  I mean really, it’s just a cartoon.

$650,000,000 Well Spent

tv converter box coupon

Under Title II of the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009 subheading Department of Commerce, I found something I deem patently absurd and blatantly ridiculous; $650,000,000 being allocated for the ‘Digital-to-Analog Converter Box Program’.  I’m going to assume that you’re all aware of the shift in television broadcasting from an analog signal to a digital one.  This conversion will only effect those still using an antenna to obtain their television signal.  For reasons of economic stimulus and recovery, $650,000,000 will be spent to ensure that these antenna users will have easier access to the digital signal via $40 coupons to obtain a digital converter box.  Wow, these converter boxes must be expensive right?  Wrong, they cost on average $49.99.  There is no eligibility requirement to receive this coupon and the only limitation I could find was 2 coupons per-household.  We’re spending hundreds of millions of dollars so that people can watch tv?  At least the millions of unemployed won’t be bored.  The best part though is of the $650,000,000 being allocated; ‘$90,000,000 may be for education and outreach, including grants to organizations for programs to educate vulnerable populations, including senior citizens, minority communities, people with disabilities, low-income individuals, and people living in rural areas, about the transition and to provide one-on-one assistance to vulnerable populations, including help with converter box installation.’  Unbelievable.  I wonder how much of that $90,000,000 I could get to teach my grandparents and their fellow ‘vulnerables’ in Florida how to hookup their cable boxes?  On a scale of awful to amazing, I’m gonna have to give this one an abismal.

Oh So Stimulating…

I’ve decided to make use of my abundant free time by skimming through the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009 in order to make my own assessment of just how stimulating it will be to our economy.  I’m no economic expert but am I possessed with an overabundance of common sense.  Instead of listening to the talking heads drone on and on about this pork and that, I’ve decided to use my enormous brainpower and examine the 1,000 plus page document.  I’ll be highlighting that which I deem unnecessary, absurd, useless and ridiculous in subsequent posting so stay tuned….

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